Imagine that! Imagery poems
Greetings, poets and friends. The Northfield third graders are working on imagery today, by focusing on our five senses. The five senses are an important tool in communication, whether you are telling a story to friends at the lunch table, or writing a poem. Appealing to your audience's senses creates that "you are there" feeling.Using their teacher's chalkboard eraser as an example, we discussed the difference between using our five senses in this way:The eraser looks black. It feels fuzzy. It smells of chalk. It makes a swishing sound on the board. If I could taste it, it would be chewy.and using similes and figurative language to create vivid imagery:The eraser looks as black as a cat prowling at midnight. It feels soft as a panther's fur. It smells as dry as the desert. It sounds like the wind blowing on a dark night. It tastes like eating cotton balls.Although we defined simile (a figure of speech in which two unlike things are explicitly compared, often using "like" or "as"), some third graders need reinforcement with the "unlike things" part of the concept. Giving several examples of what is (the flowers were as red as Mars) and is not (the air outside tasted like fresh air) a simile helps.
Today, we used our five senses similes to create action poems. Our mentor text was "Wrestling the Beast" by Arnold Adoff, from his wonderful book of sports poems, SPORTS PAGES. Each poet chose a favorite activity to write about. I love seeing what topics the students come up with. Again, these are initial drafts. In most cases, we haven't worked on line breaks or developing our ideas further yet. We'll save that for our last workshop.
I've never been to a Go Kart Race, but Brian's poem gave me a great sense of what it's like.Go Kart RacingBy Brian K.Finally, I'm off to the races.Blah, smells as bad as burnt rubber.The racers come and meet together, saying,"Good luck." I finish my refreshing rideand away I am!Squeaking like gears on a roller coaster.Whoa! Here someone comes.I'm as fast as Speedy Gonzales.I feel like I'm racing as one of the bullsin the Running of the Bulls.Here I come. I see the checkered flag...DONE!***The funny hyperbole in Zach's poem describes a basketball opponent who can't catch our speaker.BasketballBy Zach K.As I run down the courtit's like I'm in a stampede,with enemies and teammatesand the smell of stinky socksaround me, as I run tothe hoop, someone blocks meas fast as lightning buthe's an hour late, the ballhas already gone throughthe hoop, the buzzersounds like a bee in my ear,I love basketball.***You know that creepy-crawly feeling you get when you're sweaty and dirty? Aneesh has a great simile to describe it.BaseballBy Aneesh P.It is the final point. 3-3.I feel as strong as a bull.I hear the crowd going wildlike a bunch of cackling hyenas.I smell a stench like sweaty socks.I see my team cheeringlike a roaring lion.I feel the dirttickling my body like ants.Then, one two threeBAM. I hit the balland get a home run.***The rhythm in Akira's action poem is fast, recreating the action of a tennis match.TennisBy Akira N.I run down to get the ball. When I'm playing,an opponent is like rushing to go to work.The ball is like a monster chargingtoward me. I smell as sweaty as dirty water.The ball touches fuzzy as dog's fur.The ball is roaring with cool wind.***I especially like the extended description in the final image of Achilles' poem about martial arts class.SparringBy Achilles F.When my master call me up to sparI see a sweaty tiger right in frontof me, nervously. When the instructorcounts down to ___, I feel thewind hitting me like a freight train.At the end, we smell like a footballplayer's gear after his game. Itaste salt water going down myface and my hair. We soundslike an 18 wheeler horn going downa tunnel.***Last for today, you'll notice the form of London's poem, which bounces around the page. She is borrowing here from our model poem, "Wrestling the Beast," which also uses the look of the poem on the page to build drama. See the handwritten and typed pictures for an idea of London's use of white space on the page.
SwimmingBy LondonThe pool is deep as a ship,sinking deep down like a whale,heavy as a net. A fish?No, not a deep side but aniceplace for kids to hang out.A chair. Comfy. Soaking wet.A diver. His choice:Hotness around my neck.A flipper? Goggles?A big snorkelgiving air?A towel?A towel? A snake? A big jumpingstart from the end of theedge?This is a deep pool. A gentleWave fromaboveby me.Splash.Yumm.Amazing.***Thanks, Northfield staff and families for giving me permission to share the students' fine poems today. I can't wait to see what they come up with when we revise together!If you'd like to read more about Arnold Adoff, check out his website. His latest books is ROOTS AND BLUES, which you can hear Arnold reading on Youtube! 